I can't read.

Could this be an unknown sickness?



I haven't picked up a book in 4 weeks.



Believe me, I've tried. I have 4 books lying on my night stand, a coffee table of magazines, a magazine being used as a mouse pad, a giant book of poetry under this laptop...books books books galore, but I haven't gotten into any lately.



I started out the year strong and read 8 books during my winter vacation. Then, I returned to Tongliao, and lesson planning, classes, Nina the dog, and thinking about the future got in the way, and even though I've tried, my mind refuses to focus on the page. Even when I have my cup of tea, in bed, and it's quiet and it's only 8pm...I still can't read. I find myself skimming, or dazing off into space and realize I have no idea what the last page I read was about.


Take tonight. I taught 3 classes today... a total of 6 hours. I had lunch with my students, picked up my jacket at the dry cleaners, meet with Rita, and came home. It's 5:00pm and I find myself drinking my second cup of milk tea in bed, just sitting there, starring off into space, doing absolutely nothing...and not wanting to either.

Am I getting old?

I had no desire to exercise, or cook or practice Chinese or study my GRE book or write or lesson plan or watch a dvd or READ. By the way, that was my list of ALL POSSIBLE things I do in Tongliao. If it's not on that list, I don't do it.



I just wanted to sit and drink tea and do nothing.



I'm starting to feel desperate and worried that I'm going to get dumber by not reading. Reading is something I've always done, and I ordered all these awesome books from BETTER WORLD BOOKS online and they took 4-6 weeks to arrive here, and I just have to read them or else it would be a tragedy.



Help?



My books are beginning to get dusty.